So I was thinking about something about how to meat new moms and I had something pop in my head. So I thought I would write it down for the hell of it. So we are trying to change the view of how people view are special angels so I thought when meeting someone that is on the spectrum why now say so. For example, Hello my name is Catanna and this is my daughter Athena and we are on the spectrum. I thought it was funny and in away its embracing what we are. What do you think, I'm nuts right.

so week two of being out of school and bring on the heat. We finally got all of Athena's meds and she has been taking them. All last week Athena was on her schedule from the past. It was like I had a baby again. She would wake around 3am or so be wide awake just playing in her bed. Then passes out around 7 or so then wake up around 10 and be up until 10pm. But seem tired threw out the day. I just don't know at times what I should do with my baby girl. The beginning of the third week and nothing has changed with the sleeping and I have no clue how we are going to do therapy. I myself is not feeling well and I'm getting no sleep. I have no clue how long I can live like this. Two good things are haping this week first one happened today. I was painting my nails and Athena came up to me and held out her hands and said EASE (her word for please) she let me do a few. They aren't any good cause she was bouncing around. It took sevel hours and a nap but both hand our done. I think this is some type of progress. The second comes in the middle of the week. We finally get Athena a stroller witch means I can walk with her place and not have to worry how I'm getting back. For Tony and I can't carry her any more. I will post pic when I can.

the beginning of summer break

So it was the first week off school for the summer. I am trying my best to keep Athena active and happy. At times is hard because she is still very much nonverbal. I do have to say we are getting a few things out of her. All weekend she was signing more and both saying and signing please. I am beginning to see that if she says or signs she doesn't want to use the IPad to say it. I think this might become an issue in the near future.

When Athena was in school I could never get her up early to get her to school. Everyday was a pain it took almost an hour to get her up and going. Athena this entire week as been getting up around 7am every morning and her I thought I be able to sleep in. Now the begining of the second week off of school and she is back to night tares and awake at 3:00am because she is out of tummy meds. We don't see that Doctor until August and we cant get it refilled for another five days or so. Well that is all the update for now I will try to post later thank you all for reading.

Mommy turn on Rio please

Okay so I have to tell everyone what Athena just did. So first you know that we are working on the PECS System and we are only at level one. Where she exchanges any card to reseave something. Well we just got done eatting and we had to turn off Rio. She found one of her random cards and was holding it and trying to get into the DVD player. I asked her if she wanted me to turn on the DVD player and she just looked at me so I held out my hand and said if she wanted me to turn on Rio to give me the card and I had my hand out and she handed me the card. I jumped and turned on Rio and said good girl. I know it doesn't seem like much and she might never do it again but it was like a glimps into her world and right now I feel on top of the world.

Zoo day and feelings

So yesterday was the Elkhart Brass Family Picnic at the Zoo and I loved it. Athena did well. Not to many break downs from Athena. She got tired of course it was way past her nap time. The only thing that I hated to watch is how different Athena was compared to the other children. I did however see another special needs girl. I loved watching her go up with her daddy and push his butt. Then I look at my daughter that has no clue what is going on around her to the point she took something from someone else. All Athena saw was the fan and not the person holding it or playing with it. I have seen the look on her face. When you finally get to her and tell her no and not to do that someone else is playing with it. It is like you finally broke her world and she gives you the look of when the hell did you get here. The zoo of course was a bust she sees nothing but the fish and not even the kory it is the carp or bass by the lions that you can feed. Athena loves to watch the fish jump and panic over the food. And she likes to touch the food herself. We did watch the otters until she got scared. The only time Athena did have a few issue of course when another baby started to cry. This seems to be normal now. Every time something or someone is in pain Athena is right along with them. As I watch Athena at these functions family or groups I realize how more and more I just do them for me. Athena gets very little enjoyment out of them and it is sometimes to much for her. I wonder when or if this will ever change. My daughters birthday is in three months and I was going to try and do a party but is it really or me or her. I’m beginning to feel like I do more things for me  to feel like a normal mom with a normal child that will play with others, eat the food, and eat the cake. Which none of these things Athena does. I feel so out of place at times I want to find a place where Athena and I belong. Well this was a lot in one but it was what I was feeling at this excite moment I think I need to get it out.

Sleeping vent

My rant and vent for the night. Okay first I must scream. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH okay I feel better. Now lets start the story from the beginning working my way to why I am up and midnight and upset. When my daughter was first born it wasn't a happy birth after 1-2 hours of pushing to deciding it was time to get her out by c section. So in my eyes a little traumatizing, right. Then when I tried to breastfeed she did well for the first day but but the second not so well and the nurses was forced feeding her to me to the point that she was now pushing away. I finally started to give her a bottle. But then she started to start screaming in her sleep. She was a sleep, not hungry, and not wet. Everything in my mind pointed to her first night tare. Doc say that can't happen and if it did then it is neurological. Then comes the formula ups and downs, She would be gassy all the time and waking up in the middle of the night screaming but yet still asleep. So that was the beginning.
Then has she got a little older. The night times would become a problem at times. I would get know sleep for weeks. She would stand straight up in her bed screaming in tare for hours, eyes closed, and completely out. It was always weired to watch also scary. We notice that is got worse on bad days where are schedule was just off or when we had to much fun.
Now we are getting close to the end I promise. A few months ago I started to notice that Athena was having these night tares along with air bubbles is what I'm calling. A few times when she be screaming in her sleep it sounds like she is tiring to burp, fart, or puke. I few times she has puked which then she normally wakes up. But the others if she is able to pass it she calms down.
Okay now we went to the GI doc and they gave me something for reflex and she was doing so well and then she got sick and my main thing is tyring to get pain reliever down her and scream whatever just keep the fever under control. Well she didn't have the reflex today. Now about almost 2 hours after falling asleep she woke screaming and I heard that sound I knew what it meant. I picked her up and sure enough tummy and chest feel air filled. It is tight and she is push both ways. Trying to calm her down I'm pretty sure she might have been awake I'm not sure but when I put her back to bed she was out. Okay my stupid for not giving her the meds but first don't tell me that she can't have night tares at an early age. Don't tell me she doesn't need to be checked out for any type of sleep study because you don't think she needs it. You are not the one getting no sleep because your not sure what is going on in your daughters body.
I'm sorry that this is so long and there might be a few things wrong with it but I am just so tired of it all. I just want and happy baby that can get good sleep. Thank you all for reading.

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